Getting caught up in the Valentine's Day spirit (or maybe not) I decided we would look at the topic of LOVE this week. We began our discussion with the creation of the first man and woman, Genesis 2:8-15. The story basically goes like this, God makes man, man is alone, God makes animals, man is still alone, God makes woman, man meets woman, man and woman live happily ever after! We had some discussion about this, and aside from a few optimists (majority of whom were men sitting next to their wives), we decided that's not quite how things work out.
I suggested that despite the fact that this "happily ever after" is not very realistic, on Valentine's Day we all live as though it should be the norm. It seems that on Valentine's Day, love is summed up with flowers, chocolates, jewerly, poetry and floating on the clouds. We are not allowed to even think about disagreeing with our "true love" during this day, let alone actually have a disagreement. The image of Valentine's Day, and the reality are, in most cases, two completely different things.
I shared one of my experiences on Valentine's Day, where I purchased flowers (carnations), jewelry (silver), and chocolates (cherry filled) for a girlfriend. I also wrote her an original poem, expressing my feelings for her (Roses are red, Violets are blue, bees like honey, and I like you). Upon receiving my gifts, my girlfriend mentioned that she hated carnations, preferred gold jewelry, could not stand cherry filled chocolates, and wasn't too fond of my poem. Needless to say the relationship did not stand the test of time.
The experience I shared is more in line with the typical Valentine's Day experience than not though. The reasons for this I call the 3 E's, namely Expectations, Emphasis, and Everywhere. We place huge (and often unrealistic) Expectations on one another on days like Valentine's Day. We put an incredible amount of Emphasis on this single day (basically attempting to capture a year's worth of "love" in one day). And finally, Valentine's Day is Everywhere! It's advertised on the radio, on the television, in the stores, and even in the church newsletter. For those who dread the day (largely single people) it is impossible to avoid!
Although the 3 E's explain why Valentine's Day (and other such holidays) tend to be more depressing and disappointing than uplifting and happy, the real reason why Valentine's Day often turns sour, is because of the image of LOVE that it projects. On Valentine's Day, love is somehow supposed to be shown through romantic acts and gifts like flowers, jewelry, chocolates, etc. Also for many, this is the one time a year that love is emphasized, and so the day has to make up for a year's worth of indifference. Finally on Valentine's Day, we have this unrealistic expectation that somehow with love, everything will be perfect.
In John 15:12-17 Jesus paints a different picture of love. Jesus begins by "commanding" his disciples to love! For many people, love is something that controls us, not something we can control. Movies, books, and television have taught us that we cannot choose who we love! And yet Jesus commands us to love. He goes on to explain that love is a relationship, like that between friends, and that the greatest display of love is not a dozen roses, but to give your life for those you love. Jesus stands as a model for this love. He willingly chose to die for each and every person who ever lived or who ever will live. He points out in this passage that he chose us, we did not choose him. God loves you, he chose you, and he died for you.
Does this mean that Jesus is suggesting we all go off and die on behalf of someone we love? Is that the only way we can truly show our love? NO! Giving up your life does not only need to look like dying, but it can also look like making sacrifices, giving up things you enjoy to do things with those you love that they enjoy. Now love is transformed from being chocolates and poetry to a real relationship with loved ones. Love is watching the soap opera with your wife, the big game with your husband, or Dora with your child. Love is showing interest in those whom you love and the things they enjoy, often at the expense of those things you enjoy.
You have been commanded to love. You have been called to be in relationship with others, giving of yourself. How will you love others this week? Will it be something you do so you can say you did it, or will it be more? "This is my commandment, that you love one another..."
Grace & Peace,
Pastor John
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