Sermon Sampler (May 10th) - Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been a special day in my family. One could define the way it functioned in my house growing up with five words: "Mom does whatever she wants." That's roughly the way we still try to allow the day to be now, although it's admittedly more difficult with a two year old and a three year old! Just the same I always enjoyed Mother's Day, if for no other reason than that it was the one time every year I could let my mom know how special she was. On Mother's Day, I could show her how much I appreciated all she did (of course I could do this every day, but for some reason that fact never was apparent to me).

Now sometimes I tend to think that everyone thinks like I do, and that if I understand/beleive/do something, it's the same for everyone else. That was the case early in my college career when I was engaged in a discussion around a table with several others about Mother's Day. I was espousing my belief that Mother's Day was great, and should always be celebrated, because at least on that day we can show our love, honor, and respect for our mothers. One young woman at the table was vehemently opposed to this view, instead opting to suggest that Mother's Day is "stupid" and shouldn't be celebrated at all! I was shocked, even offended at this young woman's disdain for Mother's Day, and so I pressed her further about her beliefs. I was convinced that she had no good reason to dislike the day, but instead was just trying to be contrary. Boy was I wrong!

She started by telling me that she remembered as if it were yesterday, the day her mother left her and her father. She was only seven at the time, but she still remembered her mother taking all their furniture, dishes, towels, even food and loading them into a truck. The young woman remembered holding up a broom and a dustpan and suggesting that her mother took those too, since she had taken everything else. Before I could apologize, the young woman went on. She remembered her mom running off to Florida with some other man, and then having the nerve to call the girl and tell her she missed her. The young woman listed off several times that her mother promised this or that, only to later back out and let her daughter down. At this point I apologized and said I could now understand how someone could feel the way she did about Mother's Day, but to my surprise, the young woman continued. She told me about her stepmother, who essentially amounted to a real version of Cinderella's wicked stepmother. The things she told me immediately taught me that the nice little world I grew up in, wasn't the same world that everyone else lived in.

As we talked some more, I learned that this young woman did have a grandmother that seemed to fill the role of a mother for her. She stayed with this grandmother when her parents first split up, and again when life with her "wicked" stepmother got to be too much. She told me how her grandmother taught her many of the things that most mom's teach their daughters, like how to cook, how to sew, how to braid her hair, and on and on. It was at this time that I first realized that a mother doesn't need to give birth to a person to be their mother. Being a mom is less about biology and giving birth and more about nurturing, caring, raising and actually being there.

From this one young woman that I knew in college, I learned two lessons. First that Mother's Day is far more complicated than I had ever realized, and second that mothers aren't only those who give birth.

Mother's Day, for many is complicated. For some it's a day of great joy and celebration. For other's it's a day of sadness, frustration, lonliness, and even anger. Some people have wonderful mothers to lift up and celebrate, others do not. If you find yourself in the group that does not, for whom Mother's Day is complicated, I would encourage you not to give up on the day all together. We are all surrounded by wonderful mothers. Every year we as a society set aside one day to honor those women. If you can't/don't want to celebrate your own mother, I would encourage you to lift up and honor someone who's been like a mother to you. Just because it's complicated doesn't mean we should not rejoice.

Grace & Peace,
Pastor John